I live in L.ong island. I have a 14 yr old who isnot motivated in school. I had him tested and they did not seem to find that he had any learning disability, however, he tends to be very defensive, lies alot and gets angry at times when ask to do hischores or school work. These characteristics are only present when he is with family or familiar faces. In complete contrary, in school and in public he becomes very shy and quiet. All of his teachers report that he is extremely well behaved, but unproductive and inconsistent in the classroom. i am not quite sure what to do for highschool. Does anyone have any suggestions for a type of alternative highschool or program that will give him the extra attention and confidence in school?Not only are his grades poor, but he is completely unwilling to make any effort to study or complete assignments. Are there any other parents who are having this same problem? We have tried private tutors, and even a military academy to give structure.
What is the best school that you would put a 14 year old who is not motivated?
Enroll him in sports like martial arts. I think it's self-esteem issues and having more peers would be good for him.
Hope this helps. ^_^
Reply:I know is not the answer you expect, but you should send him with a psicological help, and don't let him choose if he wants of not, send him there but at home never talk about what is he doing there, with the professional, you should not be so stric to send him to a military school, but you should never let him a desition on the school he is going, that;s your desition,never behave like he is different, behave like there is nothing wrong, and STUDY WITH HIM, if he doesn't want to, offer to him that every 50 hours of study at home = one new video game, or tell him if he gets a good mark in math, take him to a place he likes a lot, or something like that, and seriosly, SEND HIM TO A REGULAR SCHOOL, is not helpful been in a special school, take him to the bookstore and let him choose a book, buy it and read it and talk about it always during dinner, never yell, never let him yell, if you have an extra room, make it a library, jeje, seriosly work! after a while doing this start searching on line "being my son's teacher", is not like you'll be a teacher, instead you'll be a example, after two months, ask to the psicologycal expert qhere your son is going what is the best way to help your child having friends, they are crazies and know everything that there is to know.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
How did you know?
suppose you died tonight went directly to heaven. you get there everyone is completely naked including yourself. you start looking for familiar faces but recognize no one. you suddenly come across a man and a woman and you instantly know without a doubt that it is adam and eve. how did you come to your conclusion?
How did you know?
No belly buttons..
Reply:fig leaf?
Reply:makes no sense
Reply:i dont think they would have belly buttons. they werent conceived.
Reply:ONLY 2 PPL IN SHAPE EVERY1 ELSE IS FAT N ALL
Reply:they dont have belly buttons
Reply:well first it is your spirt in heven your body don't go there and i think that well you really don't know about that question try asking a pastor at your church or your friends churches. Sorry i can not really answer your question good!!!!
Reply:That is the stupidest thought of heaven I have ever heard.
Reply:they would be covered instead of naked because they sinned.
Reply:Adam and eve would probably be sad because they commited the first sin and disobeyed God. But other ways...i do not know
Reply:no belly buttons!
How did you know?
No belly buttons..
Reply:fig leaf?
Reply:makes no sense
Reply:i dont think they would have belly buttons. they werent conceived.
Reply:ONLY 2 PPL IN SHAPE EVERY1 ELSE IS FAT N ALL
Reply:they dont have belly buttons
Reply:well first it is your spirt in heven your body don't go there and i think that well you really don't know about that question try asking a pastor at your church or your friends churches. Sorry i can not really answer your question good!!!!
Reply:That is the stupidest thought of heaven I have ever heard.
Reply:they would be covered instead of naked because they sinned.
Reply:Adam and eve would probably be sad because they commited the first sin and disobeyed God. But other ways...i do not know
Reply:no belly buttons!
Another one...any good?
The hallways are empty
So bleak with despair
Not a trace of anything left
Nothing here or there
Another school year has ended
Another one to begin
The seniors have moved on
To someday have their kin
We wish we could say good-bye
Just one more time
Before we leave everyone
And we go with a sigh
We have cleaned out our lockers
And packed our bags
We gave our last hugs
And laughed about the gags
We have moved on in life
Still wishing to see everyone we knew
To just say hello
Or just to see if they grew
We go back to the school
Where we used to learn
We see familiar faces
Around every turn
We miss everyone we met
While we went to school
People we will never forget
People, we thought were cool
Another one...any good?
again... yawn.
Reply:You know it's okay. Not Robert Frost, but it shows promise. I like some of the emotion and memory of it. Some of the lines seem a little weak though. For example, "To someday have their kin." seems incomplete or out of place.
Reply:If you want honest critics, you're trying too hard to rhyme. "School" and "cool" is not original. "Begin" and "kin" seems too forced. the word "Kin" does not fit with the rest of the style in your writing.
I suggest not to try too hard. Just write how you feel first, don't worry about rhymes. and if you think of a line you life, even if it doesn't make sense right in the moment your writing, write it down somewhere anyways. Then put it together.
To make it sound like a poem, use other techniques then rhyming and ALWAYS remember rhythm (you have decent rhythm). I forget what this is called but try to make words have the same starting sound or vowel sound. Like "Selling Sea Shells" or "the STONES around our HOMES" (some long O sound). Repetition is a good technique. You did that well on the last two lines (Except I don't like the word cool). Choruses can help.
Try to steer away from words like "bleak" and "despair". It's too morbid and too extreme. Try to be more simple with your words. You want to paint imagry and feelings, not show off that you can use a word in the right context. Think about the voice you are writing it.
Hope this helps. :)
Reply:*sigh* brings back memories...
Reply:This one is super good. Nice ryming. Keep up the good job.
Reply:Please read my reply to your previous poem posting!
Yes, this one is good too.
Reply:Man this depresses me cuz summer is almost over.. sorta. lol
Reply:Very deep. You write from the heart and i respect that
Reply:Very Nice!
Reply:its good
Reply:of course, very good!
keep writing
dental procedures
So bleak with despair
Not a trace of anything left
Nothing here or there
Another school year has ended
Another one to begin
The seniors have moved on
To someday have their kin
We wish we could say good-bye
Just one more time
Before we leave everyone
And we go with a sigh
We have cleaned out our lockers
And packed our bags
We gave our last hugs
And laughed about the gags
We have moved on in life
Still wishing to see everyone we knew
To just say hello
Or just to see if they grew
We go back to the school
Where we used to learn
We see familiar faces
Around every turn
We miss everyone we met
While we went to school
People we will never forget
People, we thought were cool
Another one...any good?
again... yawn.
Reply:You know it's okay. Not Robert Frost, but it shows promise. I like some of the emotion and memory of it. Some of the lines seem a little weak though. For example, "To someday have their kin." seems incomplete or out of place.
Reply:If you want honest critics, you're trying too hard to rhyme. "School" and "cool" is not original. "Begin" and "kin" seems too forced. the word "Kin" does not fit with the rest of the style in your writing.
I suggest not to try too hard. Just write how you feel first, don't worry about rhymes. and if you think of a line you life, even if it doesn't make sense right in the moment your writing, write it down somewhere anyways. Then put it together.
To make it sound like a poem, use other techniques then rhyming and ALWAYS remember rhythm (you have decent rhythm). I forget what this is called but try to make words have the same starting sound or vowel sound. Like "Selling Sea Shells" or "the STONES around our HOMES" (some long O sound). Repetition is a good technique. You did that well on the last two lines (Except I don't like the word cool). Choruses can help.
Try to steer away from words like "bleak" and "despair". It's too morbid and too extreme. Try to be more simple with your words. You want to paint imagry and feelings, not show off that you can use a word in the right context. Think about the voice you are writing it.
Hope this helps. :)
Reply:*sigh* brings back memories...
Reply:This one is super good. Nice ryming. Keep up the good job.
Reply:Please read my reply to your previous poem posting!
Yes, this one is good too.
Reply:Man this depresses me cuz summer is almost over.. sorta. lol
Reply:Very deep. You write from the heart and i respect that
Reply:Very Nice!
Reply:its good
Reply:of course, very good!
keep writing
dental procedures
Am I autistic.?
First of my problems is I get nervous around social people. When I don't know some one, I do fidget with my car keys or cell phone. I do prefer being around familiar faces. I also think very logical wise. I need a reason for a cause to comprehend. However, I don't need any special treatment education. I can learn fairly good in regular classroom environment.
Am I autistic.?
You could have social anxiety or even a bit of Asperger's Syndrome, which is in the autistic spectrum. You're probably more intelligent than most people around you, so it's harder to relate. Read up on those two subjects and see if either fits how you generally feel around people.
Reply:Feeling alienated is definitely a sign of having something in the autistic spectrum. I'm probably biased, but I honestly think it's just introversion and intelligence. Report It
Reply:You may suffer from social anxiety. Check out section 9, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and see if it helps. Autism and Asperger's are worth having a look at, in sections 12, and 21, but expert diagnosis is required for these.
Am I autistic.?
You could have social anxiety or even a bit of Asperger's Syndrome, which is in the autistic spectrum. You're probably more intelligent than most people around you, so it's harder to relate. Read up on those two subjects and see if either fits how you generally feel around people.
Reply:Feeling alienated is definitely a sign of having something in the autistic spectrum. I'm probably biased, but I honestly think it's just introversion and intelligence. Report It
Reply:You may suffer from social anxiety. Check out section 9, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and see if it helps. Autism and Asperger's are worth having a look at, in sections 12, and 21, but expert diagnosis is required for these.
Monday, April 12, 2010
What is this song called and who is it by?
This song is sung by a man in a higher voice, and an acoustic guitar backround. Some of the lyrics are clear: "...Familiar faces, worn out places, worn out plaaaceees...Maaaaan of Waaaar....Maaaaan of Waaaar...
What is this song called and who is it by?
Is it Gary Jules - Mad World?
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places – worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere – going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression – no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow – no tomorrow
And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
mad world mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday – happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen – sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me – no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me – look right through me
And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world . . . world
Enlarge your world
Mad world
Reply:Yup, it's Mad World by Gary Jules.
Reply:Mad World..by Gary Jules
What is this song called and who is it by?
Is it Gary Jules - Mad World?
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places – worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere – going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression – no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow – no tomorrow
And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
mad world mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday – happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen – sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me – no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me – look right through me
And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world . . . world
Enlarge your world
Mad world
Reply:Yup, it's Mad World by Gary Jules.
Reply:Mad World..by Gary Jules
What type of personality turns you off?
I think highly of myself. I greet and nod at familiar faces because I want their recognition in return.
When someone looks at me coldly, I would put that person on my blacklist.
When someone told me to do something in a commanding, rude way, I would also put that person on my blacklist.
I'm extremely sensitive to criticism. I love compliments, even when it's fake since I wouldn't be able to tell anyway.
..........
Do I have a bad personality?
What type of personality turns you off?
Yea, kinda snobbish border line A hole that is self indulged with self.
Stop thinking about u so much!
Reply:You seem ingenuine, supeficial, and very critical of others. You haven't really described anything postive about yourself. So from what you wrote, yes your personality is bad. The 'blacklist" thing is really awful. Even if you do have a list of people you don't like for whatever reason, of what consequence is it to them that they are on your blacklist? How does it change their lives?
Reply:I think its normal to put someone that's rude to you on your blacklist..But it's more about what you do to people on your black list that determines if you have a bad personality or not.. I also think that you should be able to take criticism like compliments, because criticism leads to compliments :)
The biggest possible turn-off, for me that is, is a girl that fights a lot. There is nothing more, straight up discusting, than a vicious girl. I seriously think girls with mustaches are sexier than girls that box.
Reply:You do not have a bad personality. Being hypersensitive to criticism can be bad. If people feel like they cannot come to you with issues they have with you then they feel like they are in a one-sided relationship. You can't meet (or try to meet) the needs of others if they can't talk to you.
As for what turns me off...obnoxious, attention hungry, bigots, condescending.
Reply:you certainly need to care less about the opinions of others.....use it reflectively, but dont make it the whole basis of how you perceive yourself.....you will only end up unhappy otherwise.....ps..... get rid of the blacklist....its worthless....and fake compliments are to be put in the same catergory worthless
Reply:I hate kiss asses but unfortunately that is part of the American workplace culture. I despise brown nosers, kiss asses.
When someone looks at me coldly, I would put that person on my blacklist.
When someone told me to do something in a commanding, rude way, I would also put that person on my blacklist.
I'm extremely sensitive to criticism. I love compliments, even when it's fake since I wouldn't be able to tell anyway.
..........
Do I have a bad personality?
What type of personality turns you off?
Yea, kinda snobbish border line A hole that is self indulged with self.
Stop thinking about u so much!
Reply:You seem ingenuine, supeficial, and very critical of others. You haven't really described anything postive about yourself. So from what you wrote, yes your personality is bad. The 'blacklist" thing is really awful. Even if you do have a list of people you don't like for whatever reason, of what consequence is it to them that they are on your blacklist? How does it change their lives?
Reply:I think its normal to put someone that's rude to you on your blacklist..But it's more about what you do to people on your black list that determines if you have a bad personality or not.. I also think that you should be able to take criticism like compliments, because criticism leads to compliments :)
The biggest possible turn-off, for me that is, is a girl that fights a lot. There is nothing more, straight up discusting, than a vicious girl. I seriously think girls with mustaches are sexier than girls that box.
Reply:You do not have a bad personality. Being hypersensitive to criticism can be bad. If people feel like they cannot come to you with issues they have with you then they feel like they are in a one-sided relationship. You can't meet (or try to meet) the needs of others if they can't talk to you.
As for what turns me off...obnoxious, attention hungry, bigots, condescending.
Reply:you certainly need to care less about the opinions of others.....use it reflectively, but dont make it the whole basis of how you perceive yourself.....you will only end up unhappy otherwise.....ps..... get rid of the blacklist....its worthless....and fake compliments are to be put in the same catergory worthless
Reply:I hate kiss asses but unfortunately that is part of the American workplace culture. I despise brown nosers, kiss asses.
Life after being diagnoised with anxiety and depression?
Ever since I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression a year ago, I have been having problems being in public and meeting people alone. Even a simple action as to pay for my groceries at the supermarket would start to make me sweat. Sometimes, I would feel uncomfortable around people and I might tend to sweat. But if I am with some familiar faces (ie friends and family), non of these problems will happen.
Anyone know what can I do to stop these things? I wanna socialize and have fun like how a normal human should!
Life after being diagnoised with anxiety and depression?
As an RN...Are ya' on any RX??? I'm NOT a firm believer in RXs for this condition!!! I use condition, as personally I feel both are very over used diagnoses!!!
As this is a subject I know very well, personally...I have tried RXs...Found the RXs made me feel no better!!! Actually worse!!! I do suggest ya' speak with ya physician re: a low dose Valium, or some type of tranquilizer, for times when ya' have to be in public situations. I have a standard script for my 23 yr old son and, myself...Just for these types of situations.
ALWAYS consult ya physician, before just trying something!!!
As I look at it now..."What normal"???
Break a leg!!!
Reply:so you're saying you didnt have these problems BEFORE your diagnosis?
have you considered that maybe hearing that you're depressed and anxious from a doctor has convinced you that you are?
the way i see it, emotions are part chemicals in your brain, and part actual feeling. if you have problems caused by a physical chemical problem, then yes, you might want to consider medication.
but on the other hand, if it's NOT that, then the only thing that can change how you feel is you. you have to decide what needs to be changed in your life to make you happier. try and get to the base of your problem. what is it about other people that makes you nervous? i mean, we all know that we shouldnt care THAT much about what other people think, even though it's difficult advice to follow. but what is it you're worried about happening? you seem self aware and intelligent. that's already 2 great traits that many wish they had.
i guess what i'm trying to say is, learn to be happy to be YOU. enjoy life, while you have the chance. we're all gonna die someday, and if you spent the whole time worrying and stressing, then you wasted it. you have to be determined to be happy, and it'll come.
you can do it! keep your head up, and take care.
Reply:I have the same problems.1 year ago i never even came out of the house.but i am in therapy which has helped a great deal.I took antideppresants that helped to get me up and out now im off them and im okay.First im gonna say control your mind dont let it control you. 2nd just think hey there only people and believe me do you go out and look at everyone and critique them?Hopefuuly answer is no well no1 is doing that to you either also the harder you try to control those feelings the more they get out of hand.just let the feeling come and say I am not gonna die. Deep breathing from the stomach helps panic attacks also.Every1 is just out taking care of their own business and so are you. No one is better then you either you deserve to have and be just as other people,medicine is not always the answer but if its that bad there are things out there that will help cause i know its a bad feeling.antideppressants help.There are counseling centers everywhere that take sliding scales and are very very inexpensive it took me agonizing and being reclusive and in a major deppression and panic attacks so bad to prompt me finally into getting help cause I couldnt stand it anymore. read self help books make your mind strong it belongs to you and you can handle this just know that but please figure out a way thats right for you to cope better.
Reply:Are you on medication? It really can help. Talk to the Doctor.
Reply:Just stay on your meds and stay in counseling... It gets better. Believe me, I'm in the same boat and I've been here for quite a while.
Good luck.
((( r u randy? )))
.
Reply:If you have been diagnosed, you have obviously seen a physician. The symptoms your are experiencing can be alleviated by medication and you need to talk to your doctor about which would be best. Don't believe Tom Cruise and his Scientology about not needing medication for anxiety. My husband takes paxil and I couldn't live with him if he didn't. It can make the difference between enjoying life or not.
Reply:If you did not have this problem before then you should take time to really think about things. Quite often suggestion can make people believe. I see this many times. We want to believe the doctor so we create the symptoms.
I am not saying you do not have these problems. You may and then again you may not. As one said we all have them from time to time.
Reply:Youre meds dont sound like theyre working, if youre even on any. If not, get on some.
Talk to your doc about how youre feeling. They can help.
Reply:Everyone on Earth has anxiety and depression at times.It is my opinion that these Drs. and pharmaceutical companies are laughing all the way to the bank...
Best wishes.
Reply:It's good that you want a social life.
Start by getting into a therapy group or self-help group with people who have the same disorder. They won't judge you while you learn to be around people again. The practice will help ease your fear of social situations.
Try Emotions Anonymous
http://emotionsanonymous.org/
and see how it works for you. When you find out you aren't the only one, and you find people who had worked through the anxiety, it will help you see that there is an end to the fear.
good luck!
Reply:try going to church. you will be welcomed and people will be
understanding .Give it a try. You will find peace and comfort
there.
Reply:All normal human beings feel depressed sometimes, and we all feel anxiety. The pharmaceutical companies would have us believe that we are 'victims' of normal human emotions, that we are the only ones with these felings, and that there is a 'magic pill' cure, just waiting for us (in the form of 'this-erols and that-azines').
It is called self preservation. We are all "right" in our own minds, and we alll have our own perceptions, which are "correct".
When we feel stress or pressure, who else's priorities do we really consider? Who's perceptions? Our own, that's who.
When we are labeled with a 'condition' such as 'depression' or 'anxiety', we tend to believe it (that there is something wrong with us) and behave that way.
It is really a case of being self-absorbed. We are told that being exclusively consumed with our own feelings is ok, it's not our fault, and that we should take drugs to cope. But what is really going on, is that no one is giving it to us straight.
We need a reality check. All human beings face social anxiety to some degree or other. We all have feelings of self-doubt, to some degree, and we all value the approval of thers, to some degree.
When we focus on ourselves, and our negative self-talk (what's bad or wrong with us), we become more self-absorbed. We don't notice that other people feel just like we do. We forget to notice other people's effort to be noticed, to be important, and to be acceptable.
By forcing ourselves to put our own feelings on the back burner for a minute, and forcing ourselves to notice other people, then we realize that we are not victims. We realize that we are not alone, or the only ones who feel like we do.
We all want to be admired, to be appreciated, to be acknowledged, to be liked, to be important, to be desired, to be saught after.......
Give to others what you want from them (for yourself). Notice others and make positive observations by acknowledging them. Compliments and questions show interest and appreciation. You could really feel good about yourself, if you made the effort to forget your own worries and flatter someone and make their whole day.
Those hot-button issues I mentioned earlier.....hit on those in conversation with others, every day. Decide to be the hero and break the ice, to establish rapport.... Tell someone they have great style, and follow up with a question about where they shop. It shows interest, respect, and acknowledgement.
When you hide behind your anxiety, you appear standoffish and unfriendly. People don't know that you're scared, intimidated, and insecure. You are so worried of what they'll think of you, that you act like you don't notice them. And you don't, because you are consumed with fear.....
In a social situation, smile at everyone, and make eye contact with those that smile back. When you are within 3 feet of anyone, notice something specific about them and make a positive observation, and follow it with a question. Get them to talk about themselves. Ask what they think of a topic. Make a positive observation about what they say.
If you can't think of something, have trivial pursuit cards in your pocket. People love to be the only one in a room that knows something about something obscure or uncommon. Enjoy the situation you are in, doing whatever you are doing. Share that with other people.
You don't have to get really personal or reveal your darkest secrets with everyone. Just keep things light and pleasant. You will make people feel god about themselves and they will want you around more.
Focus on others more than your own problems. Do this and you wil be fine.
Reply:I know the feeling all to well. When you have a chance look up the definition to agoraphobia, fear of crowds - open spaces...I only felt safe around certain people too.,people I trusted and thought understood what I was going through. No one does unless the have this condition themselves.
Try thinking that what we have is a behavior problem, treat it with rewards and consequences. Consequences are there already because we don't enjoy where we are and sometimes have to leave...reward yourself by self praise and calling your support group and telling them what you have accomplished. It's a big thing to us. You'll be tired and get a headache but you did it I'm no shrink but I have had this for 20 yrs and just found a Dr. who actually helps God Bless and Good Luck Remember: Nothing can happen today that you and God can't handle.
Confused
Reply:Maybe you don't really want to socialize and be normal. Perhaps people have treated you so badly in the past that you don't expect them to treat you properly, and why should they? Most people are callous and cruel and when someone shows a weakness they expoit it or make fun of it.
Supermarkets are dreadful places. Have you thought about woking with animals?
Reply:Anxiety and depression can be helped with medication, meditation, and learning everything you can about your illness. I have had to LEAVE grocery stores, and my cart full of food, because I couldn't stand the pressure. If I didn't have medication for this I wouldn't be able to stand going anywhere, especially not alone for goodness sake.
If you have been prescribed meds but find they aren't helping, you need to ask your doctor if your prescription should be modified or changed. Also, you have to take them every day. In the meantime, there are very simple meditations that you can use to help you feel better, and also books and websites with good ideas for you.
Exercise as much as you can, it blows off some of the steam. Meds can help, the rest is up to you. Good luck to you, I hope you find an answer that works!
p.s. i just remembered a website called the meditation station, it was great! something for everybody, check it out, it may help.
sweet tooth
Anyone know what can I do to stop these things? I wanna socialize and have fun like how a normal human should!
Life after being diagnoised with anxiety and depression?
As an RN...Are ya' on any RX??? I'm NOT a firm believer in RXs for this condition!!! I use condition, as personally I feel both are very over used diagnoses!!!
As this is a subject I know very well, personally...I have tried RXs...Found the RXs made me feel no better!!! Actually worse!!! I do suggest ya' speak with ya physician re: a low dose Valium, or some type of tranquilizer, for times when ya' have to be in public situations. I have a standard script for my 23 yr old son and, myself...Just for these types of situations.
ALWAYS consult ya physician, before just trying something!!!
As I look at it now..."What normal"???
Break a leg!!!
Reply:so you're saying you didnt have these problems BEFORE your diagnosis?
have you considered that maybe hearing that you're depressed and anxious from a doctor has convinced you that you are?
the way i see it, emotions are part chemicals in your brain, and part actual feeling. if you have problems caused by a physical chemical problem, then yes, you might want to consider medication.
but on the other hand, if it's NOT that, then the only thing that can change how you feel is you. you have to decide what needs to be changed in your life to make you happier. try and get to the base of your problem. what is it about other people that makes you nervous? i mean, we all know that we shouldnt care THAT much about what other people think, even though it's difficult advice to follow. but what is it you're worried about happening? you seem self aware and intelligent. that's already 2 great traits that many wish they had.
i guess what i'm trying to say is, learn to be happy to be YOU. enjoy life, while you have the chance. we're all gonna die someday, and if you spent the whole time worrying and stressing, then you wasted it. you have to be determined to be happy, and it'll come.
you can do it! keep your head up, and take care.
Reply:I have the same problems.1 year ago i never even came out of the house.but i am in therapy which has helped a great deal.I took antideppresants that helped to get me up and out now im off them and im okay.First im gonna say control your mind dont let it control you. 2nd just think hey there only people and believe me do you go out and look at everyone and critique them?Hopefuuly answer is no well no1 is doing that to you either also the harder you try to control those feelings the more they get out of hand.just let the feeling come and say I am not gonna die. Deep breathing from the stomach helps panic attacks also.Every1 is just out taking care of their own business and so are you. No one is better then you either you deserve to have and be just as other people,medicine is not always the answer but if its that bad there are things out there that will help cause i know its a bad feeling.antideppressants help.There are counseling centers everywhere that take sliding scales and are very very inexpensive it took me agonizing and being reclusive and in a major deppression and panic attacks so bad to prompt me finally into getting help cause I couldnt stand it anymore. read self help books make your mind strong it belongs to you and you can handle this just know that but please figure out a way thats right for you to cope better.
Reply:Are you on medication? It really can help. Talk to the Doctor.
Reply:Just stay on your meds and stay in counseling... It gets better. Believe me, I'm in the same boat and I've been here for quite a while.
Good luck.
((( r u randy? )))
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Reply:If you have been diagnosed, you have obviously seen a physician. The symptoms your are experiencing can be alleviated by medication and you need to talk to your doctor about which would be best. Don't believe Tom Cruise and his Scientology about not needing medication for anxiety. My husband takes paxil and I couldn't live with him if he didn't. It can make the difference between enjoying life or not.
Reply:If you did not have this problem before then you should take time to really think about things. Quite often suggestion can make people believe. I see this many times. We want to believe the doctor so we create the symptoms.
I am not saying you do not have these problems. You may and then again you may not. As one said we all have them from time to time.
Reply:Youre meds dont sound like theyre working, if youre even on any. If not, get on some.
Talk to your doc about how youre feeling. They can help.
Reply:Everyone on Earth has anxiety and depression at times.It is my opinion that these Drs. and pharmaceutical companies are laughing all the way to the bank...
Best wishes.
Reply:It's good that you want a social life.
Start by getting into a therapy group or self-help group with people who have the same disorder. They won't judge you while you learn to be around people again. The practice will help ease your fear of social situations.
Try Emotions Anonymous
http://emotionsanonymous.org/
and see how it works for you. When you find out you aren't the only one, and you find people who had worked through the anxiety, it will help you see that there is an end to the fear.
good luck!
Reply:try going to church. you will be welcomed and people will be
understanding .Give it a try. You will find peace and comfort
there.
Reply:All normal human beings feel depressed sometimes, and we all feel anxiety. The pharmaceutical companies would have us believe that we are 'victims' of normal human emotions, that we are the only ones with these felings, and that there is a 'magic pill' cure, just waiting for us (in the form of 'this-erols and that-azines').
It is called self preservation. We are all "right" in our own minds, and we alll have our own perceptions, which are "correct".
When we feel stress or pressure, who else's priorities do we really consider? Who's perceptions? Our own, that's who.
When we are labeled with a 'condition' such as 'depression' or 'anxiety', we tend to believe it (that there is something wrong with us) and behave that way.
It is really a case of being self-absorbed. We are told that being exclusively consumed with our own feelings is ok, it's not our fault, and that we should take drugs to cope. But what is really going on, is that no one is giving it to us straight.
We need a reality check. All human beings face social anxiety to some degree or other. We all have feelings of self-doubt, to some degree, and we all value the approval of thers, to some degree.
When we focus on ourselves, and our negative self-talk (what's bad or wrong with us), we become more self-absorbed. We don't notice that other people feel just like we do. We forget to notice other people's effort to be noticed, to be important, and to be acceptable.
By forcing ourselves to put our own feelings on the back burner for a minute, and forcing ourselves to notice other people, then we realize that we are not victims. We realize that we are not alone, or the only ones who feel like we do.
We all want to be admired, to be appreciated, to be acknowledged, to be liked, to be important, to be desired, to be saught after.......
Give to others what you want from them (for yourself). Notice others and make positive observations by acknowledging them. Compliments and questions show interest and appreciation. You could really feel good about yourself, if you made the effort to forget your own worries and flatter someone and make their whole day.
Those hot-button issues I mentioned earlier.....hit on those in conversation with others, every day. Decide to be the hero and break the ice, to establish rapport.... Tell someone they have great style, and follow up with a question about where they shop. It shows interest, respect, and acknowledgement.
When you hide behind your anxiety, you appear standoffish and unfriendly. People don't know that you're scared, intimidated, and insecure. You are so worried of what they'll think of you, that you act like you don't notice them. And you don't, because you are consumed with fear.....
In a social situation, smile at everyone, and make eye contact with those that smile back. When you are within 3 feet of anyone, notice something specific about them and make a positive observation, and follow it with a question. Get them to talk about themselves. Ask what they think of a topic. Make a positive observation about what they say.
If you can't think of something, have trivial pursuit cards in your pocket. People love to be the only one in a room that knows something about something obscure or uncommon. Enjoy the situation you are in, doing whatever you are doing. Share that with other people.
You don't have to get really personal or reveal your darkest secrets with everyone. Just keep things light and pleasant. You will make people feel god about themselves and they will want you around more.
Focus on others more than your own problems. Do this and you wil be fine.
Reply:I know the feeling all to well. When you have a chance look up the definition to agoraphobia, fear of crowds - open spaces...I only felt safe around certain people too.,people I trusted and thought understood what I was going through. No one does unless the have this condition themselves.
Try thinking that what we have is a behavior problem, treat it with rewards and consequences. Consequences are there already because we don't enjoy where we are and sometimes have to leave...reward yourself by self praise and calling your support group and telling them what you have accomplished. It's a big thing to us. You'll be tired and get a headache but you did it I'm no shrink but I have had this for 20 yrs and just found a Dr. who actually helps God Bless and Good Luck Remember: Nothing can happen today that you and God can't handle.
Confused
Reply:Maybe you don't really want to socialize and be normal. Perhaps people have treated you so badly in the past that you don't expect them to treat you properly, and why should they? Most people are callous and cruel and when someone shows a weakness they expoit it or make fun of it.
Supermarkets are dreadful places. Have you thought about woking with animals?
Reply:Anxiety and depression can be helped with medication, meditation, and learning everything you can about your illness. I have had to LEAVE grocery stores, and my cart full of food, because I couldn't stand the pressure. If I didn't have medication for this I wouldn't be able to stand going anywhere, especially not alone for goodness sake.
If you have been prescribed meds but find they aren't helping, you need to ask your doctor if your prescription should be modified or changed. Also, you have to take them every day. In the meantime, there are very simple meditations that you can use to help you feel better, and also books and websites with good ideas for you.
Exercise as much as you can, it blows off some of the steam. Meds can help, the rest is up to you. Good luck to you, I hope you find an answer that works!
p.s. i just remembered a website called the meditation station, it was great! something for everybody, check it out, it may help.
sweet tooth
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